Relatively fewer downs than ups for certain. But, my world has been inverted and refined since I broke my jaw on the early morning of March 5. I’ve been processing all the emotions, supposed meanings, and truth that is my life. When I feel like “whatever I am is perfect” is when the ups happen. The downs are always surprising, to me, the calculated competitor. I judge myself harshly, in other times. But in the nowness of time, today on May 9 of 2017 in the year of our Lord Trumpkins, I cannot judge. My perceptions and perspectives and reality have all shifted. Inside and outside of me, I am bathing in flux.
I sound over-important……when I talk about my careers, and projects, and dote on my clients. This is because I like to brag about every step I take that ends up going right. Because, I have been in places where every step I took was… not good, healthy, intelligent, etc. This is an observation, not one of my harsh self-judgments. There is a correlation between how much energy I have to heal, and how much I am doing to heal myself. I’ve noticed while healing from jaw surgery, that every iota of energy matters to me, when I’m healing a system inside my body. In more ways than one, I am discovering that my body seems like its own vast Universe… somehow we all have one (you and me), and they mostly all have the same needs (physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, sensual, etc.). As May opens and blooms, the deserts here in Arizona are already arid, but still cool in the evenings. I have opened my door every evening for the past two weeks… what joy to feel this desert town cool down. The range from hot day to cool night, and all the self-care has got me feeling present and aware.
Making GainsEmotions are the #1 indicator of whether someone with a health challenge will heal and remain illness-free. Or, whether they will lapse into a cycle of illness. This is the message that I have heard loud and clear from literally dozens of top medical doctors. It seems to me a natural wonder, that emotions can be the wellspring of life or death. Okay, I kind of knew that already somehow, intuitively. For me, emotions are indicators of balance, transition, or imbalance. My emotions are in a nice place, with occasional clouds. 😉 I’m not on pharmaceuticals, which (coming from my family) is a rarity. I’m spending energy to ensure emotional balance, including taking mild natural/nutritional supplements that keep my brain healthy and active. I’m learning that my emotions seem to be well-balanced when I am physically whole. My natural focus with having a broken jaw, is to take all the care I can, of myself. This is a new way of life for me. Again, never before have I taken care of myself so well. So… emotionally… I’m MAKING GAINS
Physical GainsNot a pleasant way to frame the topic. Especially, since I am in pain often. Physically, I am “mostly able” to lead a normal life. So this is a big win. I could have been hurt worse, as I’ve myself said. There are some messy health challenges that I am in the midst of. But, I am accustomed to facing challenges. So… physically… I’m MAKING GAINS. There are some physical challenges to working on my careers, that breaking my jaw did not plan for. Hahah I am thinking of some funny/embarrassing moments, and you can ask me when you see me. Let me say that I have often felt physically disabled, because I broke my jaw. Yes, that’s to be expected. But, there are many details of living life in “that reality” that are hard to otherwise imagine. Physical friendships have been missing from my life while I heal, except in rare occasions. I’ve been more or a Phone/Text friend, than in in-person friend, to my friends. Honestly, I did not feel like “going out” to feel physically or socially awkward around my friends. (This is my pride talking, haha.) But, for some reasons that I isolated my physical self, I did feel like I “would be back” soon. I’ve learned that — even when alone — there is always a potential for drama, when I am not properly socialized. 😉 I used to throw parties for a living, no joke, and for many reasons I feel comfortable being around many people. (Especially, when everyone is dancing.) You can imagine even my jaw’s confusion, when breaking my jaw prevented me from being more social. #solitaryperson #that’scoolwithmethough #releasecontrol
SocialityDuring the past several weeks, I have been posting, in lieu of normalized socialization. It “sort of” works. But really, if I were hard core about my health, perhaps I would have chosen a ‘wave-free’ / non-radio-active environment. But, I didn’t because I couldn’t, I felt. And so, being away from everyone… I am very much accustomed to being part of a social scene. Even in normaly, I have many real, offline, 3D+ friends, who I sincerely love, enjoy being around, and taking time to spend time with. As I tend to do: #ilovemyclients #ilovemycareers #realtalk
Thank YOU! Whether in-person……or on the telephone, or Skype, or E-mail and text and messenger, I want to THANK those who have been around me on a regular basis through my healing. I was humbled to have many people caring for me, and bringing me good laughs by text, phone, and in-person (<— the bravest ones). Recently, I returned from a trip to Sedona where I got to hug a lot of people I care about. I hung out with a half-dozen of my local yocal friends, and I got my laughing “in” and felt great smiling while feeling more confident about what that smile looks like and needs.
Career-iosity News UpsOn the ups side, I have a lot of my projects currently in bloom. I’m seeing some relative payoff from fostering real relationships, which brings me hope. CLICK HERE to read my latest news from the previous week. It will be more specific with details than this post is. Above and beyond last weeks news, I’m busy on projects that really light me up. In April, my life got a lot cooler and fun, when compared to March. First, I got my jaw unwired, which of course was life-changing. Then, I submitted my photographic art to a prestigious children’s museum, and was accepted and offered a 3-month exhibition. I had put together a winning proposal, that smoothed the path there. So knowing that my design and copywriting work — which is authentic (for the record) — worked… is way cool. (This helped me to feel more proficient at opening my own doors, instead of always asking fate to do it.) Another BIG DEAL for me in April, was that I FINALLY FINISH-FINISHED my upcoming book The First 5 Project Planning Lessons. Took 2-years and now I know more than when I started. Also in April, I was able to post a range of graphic training goods, like leadership planning charts. I did a website revision, and helped one of my dedicated clients to finish a big print materials project. I got new daily glasses with UV coatings to protect my eyes from blue light on screens (laptop, cell phone, etc.). If you’re on my IG @alishatheexplorer or my FB @theAlishaproject you will often see my glasses. Five jumbo art post cards that I shot, designed, and printed, went on sale at Jarrod’s Coffee, Tea & Gallery in Mesa, AZ (on Main Street). Oh, and Haiku book second edition release, and the launch of Jack Stuler Foundation at Phoenix Art Museum‘s InFocus lecture event… a client I have been working with for 10-months. So much progress. So, so much more even than I care to type here, as it is all still in-process.
In May, I have already had some career MAKING GAINS moments.
- Introduced 2 hard working people who may be doing business together soon
- I was interviewed by Lainie Sevante Wulkan for Zeta Global Radio about bees
- I sent my The First 5 Project Planning Lessons to my potential publisher/marketer, and he likes it
- Have attracted 4 different leads for new clients or new project work
- Have booked 1 new client, and are continuing on 2 projects for a dedicated client
- Learned to eat solid foods even through any pain (which I’m sure absolutely affects and improves my abilities to support clients)
- I purchased the materials I needed to complete an accessory design project